Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Stop Licking the Drain!!!


            Image by Salvatore Vuono via freedigitalphoto.net

My cat has one bad habit which drives me insane.
She won't stop licking our disgustingly gross drain.
As she sips slurps, the shower drips drops on her fur.
I think it gets her high 'cuz it sure makes her purr.

I wondered if other animals were as strange.
Then a drunk German owl my perspective did change.
They locked him up in the German slammer one night
'cuz he thought getting hammered on schnapps was alright.

Later on I learned something even more crazy:
an alligator swallowed a cell phone... oopsie daisy.
No doubt she thought food had been thrown in her water
but a ringing, aching tummy was all that chomp got her.

Tempted again, the owl and alligator would
probably still indulge as quickly as they could.
I tried to cut my cat off once - she went insane.
Hairballs and nausea couldn't beat licking the drain.

It's like those times when you open mouth insert foot.
Fancy words can make your reputation caput.
Other times it can catapult you towards famous.
Take Sarah Palin - frequent tweeter most shameless.

Being outrageous in "public" is addictive too
but it can result in horrible press for you..
If you're not careful, you'll believe some tweeting gals
who say extremism makes you millions of pals.

So the next time you're tempted to spill some verbal junk,
remember what usually happens to you next, punk.
You'll only get sick licking that figurative drain
and it's high time you learned to stop causing yourself pain.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011


If  you want your links to appear in a rhyme. participate in a Smiley Sociology Study sometime.

To read or share more poetry, head over to Jingle or One Stop Poetry with me.

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Just hours after this rhyme went online a new fan informed me it was (again) award time.  Thank you, Lolamouse for the LOL Award... it's so cute!  I'll pass it along soon to bloggers I think are a hoot! :o)

31 comments:

  1. My cat also seems to think that's a fun thing.
    He bugs me to death if the water's not running.

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  2. Cats make me sneeze
    So I prefer a dog for the breeze....

    unless he farts.

    Cheers

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  3. Better to lick the drain than your own butthole.

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  4. Rachel,
    Love your blog! Your poetry makes me smile! I just gave you a LOL Award on my blog. If you want to see the rules and/or copy the award to post, head on over to http://lolamouse.blogspot.com/2011/01/you-like-me-you-really-like-me.html
    -lolamouse

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  5. HA! Love that poem. Gonna have to share it.

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  6. @ Bryan - I've had several cats that whine for running water, but this one will run away if you turn it on for her. :o)

    @ Alejandro - Dogs are pretty awesome too... except when they fart, EEEEEEEWWWWWW!!!

    @ Tricia - You are so right. I'll thank her for that tonight. :)

    @ Lola - That is so sweet of you to give me an award for making you smile! I'll be over to retreive it in a little while. :o)

    @ Patricia - I'm glad you got a good laugh from my rhyme and would love for you to share it online. :)

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  7. Cute!! Like you said, it really could be worse!

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  8. Thanks sweepyjean! I think "it could be worse" can be said of nearly everything I complain about in life. :o)

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  9. lol I needed a good belly roll and having lived with some strange cats, you gave me funny trip down memory lane :) great oneshot and thanks for sharing :)

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  10. Thank you for visiting and commenting bumfuzzled! Strange animal behavior does leave me happily puzzled. :o)

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  11. Great fun poem - really enjoyed it. Thanks for commenting on my blog and leaving a link.

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  12. great, but Trisha has a good point! And dogs prefer the butt to the drain! At least cats like both.

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  13. hahahaha...this was awesome!! The message was too good to pass up, Rachel!!!
    I tweet, but I sure hope I don't end up licking that figurative drain.. ;-)

    Loved the rhymes, lady!! You rock at this!!!

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  14. LOL - mine don't like licking the drain, but I did have one who must have been a dog in a previous life because he would put his front feet on the rim of the toilet and drink out of the bowl... *shakes head* Apparently things in my house isn't normal if there isn't something weird going on. =)

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  15. @ Cathleen - So glad you enjoyed the rhyme. Thanks for becoming my 100th google follower! :o)

    @ SuziCate - who knew there'd be so much talk of butt licking in this comment thread. LOL.

    @ Kavita - I'm grinning ear to ear knowing you got a good chuckle (again). I'm new at tweeting and try to keep it professional too. :)

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  16. ha. nice bit of social commentary mixed in there...true that...

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  17. Brian took my thoughts..
    great poem here...you are good at these rhymes I see..

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  18. This was great! I always enjoy visiting your blog :)

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  19. so glad I don't have a cat...one less worry:)

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  20. @ Brian & Lynne - thanks! I've wanted to sneak that comment in for a while. When my cat gave me this idea, I got a bit smile. :)

    @ Jessica - I love that you use the word ALWAYS about me. So glad you consistently leave smiling. :)

    @ Mary - No cat?! They do have some redeeming qualities. :)

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  21. Your kitty must be a hair brain, to keep licking that disgusting drain! What a delight! Thanks!

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  22. Yes Annell, my kitty is a hair brain though I love her just the same. Glad I could bring you a tidbit of delight! Hearing that makes me feel alright. :o)

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  23. love the images on top.
    very well plotted humors....

    A++

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  24. My cat gets upset
    If I fasten the door
    She hates to get wet
    But she likes to lick more!

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  25. very amusing, so glad someone else likes to write funny stuff too. nice link into people and their foolishness.

    http://jessicasjapes.wordpress.com/2011/01/31/first-date/

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  26. @ Jingle - glad you like the image! I thought I would have to use a personal photo for this poem, but then I found the crazy cat eyes. :)

    @ Trollpants - sounds like your cat and mine are related. My girl sits next to the heater after getting dripped on. She has her system all worked out.

    @ Jessica - I always look forward to reading your poems as well because they're more lighthearted than others. :)

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  27. This was hilarious
    and so very true.
    I'm delighted I found
    one who rhymes as you do.

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  28. Hi thingy & azfree. I'm always happy to have you visit me. Glad to hear you like what you see. :)

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  29. My cat has the same darn obsession with the drain in our shower
    he wakes me each day with his slurping,
    during the wee mornin hour.

    Thats his way of getting me to come turn the water to a drip,
    he doesn't like a running stream, cause its hard for him to sip.

    He has trained me very well, at least it feels that way,
    he seems to have mastered this power play!

    But I always get him back when it comes time for his shower
    which is MY way of showing him who really has the power!


    I love this post, it brought a smile to my face to see that I am not the only person who has a cat who licks the drain.

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  30. Wanda... I can't thank you for your cute rhyming response enough! There are so many of us who deal with this kitty stuff. :)

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Rhyming or not, I would like a lot to hear the thoughts my words brought...