Image by Suat Eman via freedigitalphoto.net
Dr. Likido was a very interesting man -
nutritionist but not a five food group fan.
He graduated with honors, then disappeared
to meditate about the career he now feared.
He wanted to help but thought no diet was right
so he vowed instead to pray all day and all night.
Last week a vision came to him to break the spell.
The missing ingredient is here; a new diet as well.
What is this new discovery? (Nice of you to ask.)
Meat flavored water has been invented at long last!
Now you can drink all five food groups from a cup...
assuming that yummy idea doesn't make you throw up.
Sure, I suppose, you could have done that before,
but frequent blender cleaning can become quite a chore.
Plus, the drinks were weird colors and consistencies...
and now they're manufactured to aesthetically please.
The good Doc is still working out the details
but, so far, here's what the Likido Diet entails:
Start the day with a fruit and yogurt smoothie.
Blend it yourself or buy a pre-made one like me.
Snacks, lunch and dinner - drink meat water and V8.
Take time to explore the 50+ flavors invented to date.
For dessert, have a sweet smoothie or a beer...
'cuz life's less fun when carbohydrates are a fear.
If you've read this far and still think I'm serious,
you're either incredibly gullible or totally delirious.
I mean, unfortunately, the meat water part is true.
You can try cheeseburger water if you want to.
I'm scared most by one of the midnight snack flavors.
Is mountain oysters really a taste someone savors?!
Though Likido's plan might mimic elements of a diet,
I think you'd have to be a bit crazy to try it.
I'm not sure why some prefer man made, enhanced stuff.
I think grains, veggies, fruit, dairy and meat are enough.
Its normal to be tempted by fad diets' promised results
but not easy to admit to wishful thinking like young adults.
I am sure some real life doctor will "invent" this diet soon.
He or she could draft a full plan (like me) in one afternoon.
Just remember, you heard of it here, from Dr. Likido first,
and keep in mind that eating your vegetables really ain't the worst.
© Rachel Hoyt 2011
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