Tuesday, May 31, 2011

One Share of Moon Robot

Image by Exsodus via freedigitalphoto.net

There is a very special and unique construction project brewing,
the magnitude of which, gave me many thoughts for chewing.
Apparently the Japanese are leaping closer to fulfilling their plan
to pump solar energy from the moon to every man and woman.

The idea was actually first proposed in 1968.
I guess you could say I'm learning about it a bit late.
I'm jealous of the robot builders and those who will control them
and sad that one day we'll speak of how the moon looked "back when..."

On the plus side, we will have plenty of green energy,
but I worry a disco ball moon would blinding for me.
If it makes the sky sparkle like a raver's dance party,
I'll need eye protection that is much more hearty.

I hope they're also planning a visitor center and resort
where the rich can come to relax, explore and cavort.
Many have dreamed of going there for years and years.
If our need for power impedes that, there will be many tears.

If all this happens, I'll just have more things to be jealous of.
I doubt I'll ever have the money to fly to the moon with my love.
Perhaps I'll invest in the company and pretend I own a robot.
Living vicariously through him could be the best chance I've got.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Duff Beer Limerick

Image by Zirconicusso via freedigitalphoto.net

A fellow was in a bad mood.
His order had been misconstrued.
He'd ordered some Duff
but it was a bluff.
The bottle was empty. How rude!

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

This is my entry for Mad Kane's Limerick Off.
and is being shared in the Thursday Poets' Rally.

My Top 5 BBQ Wishes

Image by Simon Howden via freedigitalphoto.net

I know on Memorial Day I should be thinking of the Vets,
but instead I'm focused on some silly BBQ regrets.
You may have guessed I like to posses wacky things
because I relish in the smiles their appearance brings.
Here are five pieces of flare that I wish someone would buy me.
They would really liven up any Memorial Day party.

(5)  An inflatable entertainment center would be fun,
especially if it was a float-it-in-your-pool-type one.
I like the excitement of using electronics near water.
It's safety like that that makes a dad proud of his daughter.

might appear higher on the top five list for you,
but I think it would be hard to protect and maintain.
Plus, on the wacky scale, it's really rather plain.

(3)  The BBQ Sword is funny and fairly well known.
I heard of them and promptly wanted one of my own.
I think having one would make me a bit cooler,
plus when my sister comes over I can properly duel her.

(2)  The Cthulhu Roaster might be scary looking to some...
but I find those shocked and blank stares silly fun.
I don't even really like to eat hot dogs myself,
but I'd cook them fairly often if I had this on my shelf.

(1)  The item I most covet is a watermelon stroller
which would keep cool utilizing power that's solar.
I'd wheel my vodka snacks into parties in style
giving everyone something funny to talk about for a while.

Whatever you do today, I hope your Memorial Day is fun.
There's a million ways besides the above to make today a great one!

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

This rhyme is being shared in the Poetry Potluck and Poetry Pantry.
Click on over.  There's a lot more interesting stuff to see.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

The Coat Trick... with dogs

You remember sticking your skinny arms in coat sleeves
while your friend's head sat atop a man with four knees?
I enjoyed playing that game to trick others as a child.
You might say it was a young version of girls gone wild.
This video is proof some adults are still silly as juveniles.
I enjoyed watching their hilarious dog meal time styles.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.
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Sunday, May 22, 2011

Six Word Sunday - Runny Babbit Tweet

Runny Babbit Book and Abridged CD

Duckling bown,
furing crown,
do-do's town.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

This 6WS tweet was inspired by Shel Silverstein's billy sook, Runny Babbit. If you know the book (or are just really smart) then you will know what my poem says. And yes... I did say do-do.  Sorta.  Hehe.

Angry Birds Obsessed

When I was young, the mother of a friend,
played video games while she was at school.
Occasionally to the house she would tend.
Mostly that was the exception to the rule.
Frowned upon by others equally distracted by Soaps,
those addicted to Oprah, and even sad lonely mopes,
because she wasted hours playing games
to enjoy days and forget about trouble.
It's funny to think that she was called names
'cuz now gaming pride's more than double.

Angry Birds is extremely popular to all ages
for the simple yet pure joy of destruction.
We strive for three stars at all stages.
Time Away = Happiness Reduction
To announce the game in Spain they built
a real life Angry Birds you couldn't tilt.
Explosions bearing digital resemblance
rained debris on the crowd below.
I think a TV show bearing it's semblance
would be quite a fun participatory show.

I hope we're right to say it could improve
memory, logic and problem solving skills.
If not a government ban will have to remove
our access as they do to addictive pills.
They can't expect us to willfully abstain.
From catapulting birds I won't refrain!
Next you know we'll need support groups
for Angry Bird Addicts in recovery.
Do you love the game or think it's an oops?
Or have you yet to make the discovery?

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

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Saturday, May 21, 2011

Newly Discovered STDs

I've recently contracted an STD...
that's a Sexy and Talented Diploma, silly.
It leeches onto you when least expected;
demands to show itself, to be projected.
Simultaneously awarding you for creativity
then demanding you spread it, let the world see.
Though the title of this post sounds "heavy",
Earth's gravitational pull is holding steady.
All is well 'cuz this really isn't a disease,
which is why I'm also giving these blogs STDs:

I hope you'll take this STD and spread it far and wide.
Below are the rules by which we're asked to abide.

Thank you Raising Amelie for giving me this STD.
Thank you Adventures in Estrogen for inventing this silly
award for all to see.


1. Make up ONE totally ridiculous story about yourself that is a complete rip-off from a movie. It can be as long or short as you want; clean or crass as you want.  (Who noticed mine? Anyone?)

2. Pass it on to whomever you feel is deserving of this STD – or accept it and keep it for yourself; it’s your blog – it’s your choice.

3. If you choose to accept this STD, please link your acceptance post back to Adventures in Estrogen and to the person who gave you your STD (in your case it would be me… Rhyme me a Smile) You get the idea?

You can choose to keep your STD for yourself. Yet if you choose to pass your STD around, do it fervently and don’t forget to back link.

4.Use the acronym “STD” as much as possible within you post (send SEO’s into a tale spin)

Smile for your health!

Image by Salvatore Vuono via freedigitalphotos.net

Before I go to bed on an ordinary lazy Friday night,
I thought I'd rhyme y'all a Saturday morning delight.
I'm smiling now and already feel a bit stronger!
Children smile up to 400 times per day!
We should imitate their happy smiley way.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.
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Thursday, May 19, 2011

The Rhyming Smiling Overlord

I've been declared the Rhyming Smiling Overlord.
So now you have to do whatever I say!
(They told me to declare three things I'd change, ok?)
First I'd make it mandatory that the news
include at least some rhyming.  The author they can choose.
Of course I hope that they will pick me...
and since I'm the Overlord, that's probably how it'll be.
Second, I'd make any sort of relaxation therapy tax deductible,
'cuz I believe staying calm makes you feel more indestructible.
Then maybe next time life hits a line drive at your head,
you won't yell, whine or let your face turn angry bright red.

Last, I'd make unnecessary rudeness punishable by fine.
Any service employee could assess one at any time.
If you yell at the staff or bug everyone in the store,
you just may find that you will be paying more.

And now, I humbly declare my successors to be:
Mad Kane, Almost There and my friend Foxy.
Celebrate in your mind or on your blog - you choose.
I found it quite fun to make up a few rules.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

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Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Bay to Breakers

Photo by Rachel Hoyt. © 2011 All rights reserved.

The tortoise and the hare raced in the San Francisco rain
as other costumed folks rushed the streets like bulls in Spain.
I suppose no observer would have called their pace racing
but if you asked them, they'd blame inadequate spacing.
With mobs of Elvis's, Waldos and Smurfs in your way,
it's funner to indulge your turtle pace for a day.

It was the Bay to Breakers centennial anniversary,
an event all gallavanters and lookie-loos should see.
Unfortunately, some of the locals hope it was the last.
They aim to make this race/party a thing of the past.
It's similar to the problem faced by Floatopia fans:
a rowdy minority peeing wherever and leaving behind beer cans.

The difference between the two is the "honeymoon" length.
Each time an event repeats itself, the tradition gains strength.
After a hundred years, many families have built memories
racing in costume or hosting street side revelries.
At what point does the event come with the territory?
Can't the people work together to keep things hunky-dory?

I know no other race where you could go
Captain Hook wandering around with Tinkerbell.
Angels from Heaven jogging with demons from Hell.
The Royal Wedding running past the US Cabinet.
People taking pictures with some naked guy they just met.

Sure, no event can accommodate everyone's taste,
but that doesn't mean we should destroy it with haste.
One hundred years is a long time to keep up tradition.
Must mother nature strike again to prevent it's omission?
The tortoise remembered that was how it all began...
and to honor another tradition, she ran....
three steps across the finish line, winning again.

 © Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

This rhyme is being shared at One Stop Poetry.
Click on over to join in the fun with me.

I'm also sharing this poem in the Thursday Poet's Rally
and would like to thank those who voted for me in the tally.
I'm overjoyed to win the Perfect Poet Award - Summer 2011.
Your votes (to me) are like manna from heaven.

Monday, May 16, 2011

The Toad in the Road

Vote for my rhyming joking comic at I Like Cheese!!!
Click here now to show you love me... ok?  Please?

Thank you loyal voters... I won!
Thanks, Doug.  The contest was fun.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Poetry Statistics

Image by renjith krishnan via freedigitalphoto.net

Really the only way I can sum up last month's study on poetry
is to share a few statistical facts that popped out at me.
You see, I'm curious how poetry is seen by the average Joe
and to figure it out, I let my quantitative self go.

Here's what I know:

Only twenty-four percent of the posts were smiley happy.
Does that mean people don't like when I write silly-sappy?

Nineteen percent wrote on a subject that made me feel sad.
Still, without them, my stats would skew, making me less glad.

Fifty-seven percent kept the mood neutral, calm, or serious.
I find the identity of these poets more than slightly mysterious.

We all write from experience and to let emotions flow.
We all write to let the deepest thoughts inside us go.

It's near a tie between non-rhymers and those who rhyme.
Though, with that fact, I expect someone right now would chime,

"Hey!  You only studied less than 2% of NaPoWriMo participants.
If you pretend like these are facts, I'll be a real pissy-pants."

Sorry folks, I was just waiting until the rhyme's end,
to admit a proper study requires a flock of data to tend.
Still, it's fun to wonder if this data is close to the truth
and hope someday to produce some that's a bit more sleuth.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

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Thank you to all participants in the study.
I hope I've made you a follower, buddy.
I'll be passing on some awards I received soon.
Check back to find out for which blogs I swoon.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

The Taliban's Non-Bluff

Image by healingdream via freedigitalphoto.net

I've always enjoyed reading about conspiracy
though many times I don't believe the theory.
I think they're good for expanding your mind.
Sometimes they explain the "coincidences" we find.
I'm a little late learning of the latest lavish scheme
and can't decide if it helped promote good or mean.

Some say that the secret whereabouts of Osama
came from poker sites used by me and yo mama.
On Black Friday they took the three biggest websites down,
causing many online gamblers frustration and a frown.
Supposedly the indictments gave them access to user files
and to the closest friend of the Taliban leader aka SinisterSmiles?

Just kidding... I have no idea what the user's name is
but I wonder if he's a bluffer or odd calculating whiz.
I may very well have played against him in a tournament.
I wonder if he still thinks it was fun money well spent?
They got Osama.  I lost my favorite poker site.
Yet I'm sure new ones are popping up each night.

The way I see it, these sites were targeted for info
because they were the only people who'd know.
They've done some good by helping put an end to an era
but the new leader could be worse! (Sorry to scare ya.)
Like gambling, the Taliban isn't going to stop
just because Uncle Sam took down their Pop.

So, what are we doing calling their non-bluff?
Making sure the world knows that we're tough?
(But also considerate enough to honor religion
by burying him at sea scarcely waiting a smidgen.)
Though we may have the cards to back an all-in bet,
I still think this victory might also bring regret.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

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Sunday, May 8, 2011

Biff's Limerick

A man thought it time to take stock
of the times that he'd said "knock knock".
Tap tap to the head
while the words are said
brought karma that still caused him shock.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

This rhyme was written for Mad Kane's Taking Stock Limerick-Off
and is being shared in the Poetry Pantry.

The Kreativ Blogger Award

Last month, the Kreativ Blogger Award was bestowed on me by Wanda,
a photographer and fellow poetess who may or may not drive a Honda.
It's taken me a while, but I will now follow the award acceptance rules,
'cuz neglecting to say a proper thank you is the behavior of fools.
And so I shall divulge to you 10 random rhyming facts about me,
then bestow the award on some other fine blogs you should see.

(1)  I have three blogs but talk about it like I have only one.
Turtles and the home biz are ok, but rhyming is more fun.

(2)  I used to play poker online most nights and hardly went out.
Now there's hardly two days in a row when I'm not out and about.

(3)  I could make a small mountain stacking up all the yarn I own,
but I only find time to use it on the rare occasion I'm bored at home.

(4)  I also own 25 or more flavors of tea but don't drink one per day.
I try to drink healthy, but cravings for other drinks get in the way.

(5)  My favorite Christmas gift last year was a box full of vintage buttons.
I'm one of those "you can never have too many craft materials" gluttons.

(6)  My favorite unexpected, just because, gift I've ever gotten,
was a baggie full of foreign coins from the travels of Nina and Ben.

(7)  I still own a guitar though I don't really know how to play.
I took a class in college and may try to learn again someday.

(8)  I've lived in Santa Barbara 15 years now and hope to never leave.
I currently live in a "shack", but to dreams of a brighter future I cleave.

(9)  I adore romantic comedies and think Love Actually is the best.
When my hope for love was low it brought optimism to my quest.

(10)  30 Rock is my current "go to" when I need a good laugh.
I love the characters and the way Jack talks to his staff.

And... the blogs I'd like to award for their creativity
are three that have caught my eye more recently:

The lady known as Kez is a kind new poetry friend.
Through lovely words a serious message she does send. 

Matty Thoughts is a place to discuss, think and question.
Good comments his thoughts and topics do beckon.

For frivolous reading I've been enjoying Made Up Words.
I'm surprised people aren't already following him in herds.

Congrats to Kez, Matty and Doug, my Kreativ Blogger Award Winners.
I hope this will (at least) give you something fun to discuss at your family dinners.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Scary Thug Loan Free

Image by Idea Go via freedigitalphoto.net

When little, my dad taught me to budget.
As I got older, I learned how to fudge it.
Compromise led to mass credit card debt,
then high interest caused a cycle of regret.
I could almost feel the money lose its power
as the charges for interest began to tower.
To dig myself out, I had to think more like my dad.
His lessons are working now and that makes me glad.
So while I'm mostly seen as politically lib'ral,
I'm pretty conservative about all things fiscal...

which is why I was glad for the recent budget upset.
I hope Obama taught them a lesson they won't forget.
Politicians can't really expect us not to emulate
the spending habits that they've projected to us of late.
If they can't make tough choices then why should we?
They certainly don't think our spending should flow free.
Sure, I'd argue with you over which items should be cut
but at some point we must dig ourselves out of that rut.
Saying yes to bits of everything doesn't help anyone.
Buying more than you can afford, in the end, isn't fun.

Even with all the budgets that were slashed
these issues won't become a thing of the past.
America is fast approaching the federal debt limit.
Something drastic must be done in order to thin it.
If we want a government menu better than pork and beans,
we must start by learning how to live within our means.
Too bad there's no free budget planner for companies
that could make analyzing our spending habits a breeze.
We must build more than blood and sweat equity
to ensure that we remain scary thug loan free.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

This rhyme is being shared via One Shot Wednesday.
Come on over to join the poetry forum today!

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Monday, May 2, 2011

Smiley Sociology Study #6 - Weddings

Image by kongsky via freedigitalphotos.net

Another wedding season has officially begun
so I thought that (through my study) I would join in the fun.
Do you have a wedding memory that you would like to share?
Do you know a unique item that someone chose to wear?
How about a yummy morsel that you enjoyed nibbling on?
A fun activity to try or perhaps a special song?
An excellent location for a wedding to take place?
Whatever nuptial idea or memory brightens your face.
Write up your posts then link them in here.
Perhaps in my results rhyme your link will appear.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

Non rhyming directions for the poetry challenged:

(1) Create a new post about weddings or link to one that was already on your blog.  Please note:  your post does not need to be poetic.  All styles of blogs are welcome as long as their post is about weddings.

(2) Please include a link back to the Smiley Sociology Study within your post to help spread the word about the link exchange. The more "data" / posts I have to peruse, the better pseudo sociological results I can produce!

(3) copy the link for that post and paste link into Mister Linky below.

Please link directly to the post you want to share, not to your home page. 
I will delete your link from the study if I cannot find a post of wedding theme to link to directly.

(4) leave a comment here to let me know you've posted a link

(5) read links left by others and tell them (nicely) what you think

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