Sunday, February 27, 2011

My Little Pokey

                                                                  Pokey is
                                                   three toed and green,
                          turtle,             super lean and never mean.   
                         Queen        of this castle. Never causes a hassle.
                         Wishes   for jaccuzis, kisses, and worm filled dishes.
                          Shows wisdom in her eyes deeper than her shell size.
                                               Dances to            rock 'n roll.
                                               Embodies            an old soul.

The above poem was written for my turtle Pokey who I've had since I was 15 years old.  I also recently revived the blog I once started in her honor, Pokey's Pals.  Come on over to see some turtle news, photos, videos, and more.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011

This rhyme is being shared in Poetry Pantry #31.  Come on over and join in the fun!

I am also sharing this poem in the Thursday Poets' Rally

I would also like to thank Jingle Poetry and my fellow poets who voted for me to receive the Celebrate Poet Award.  I'm honored to place well in the tally and overjoyed my rhymes aren't ignored.
Technorati Tags: , , ,

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Beachy Winter

                    Image by Nuttakit via

This weekend it
is going to rain ice cold spit.
Just one thousand feet up higher
snowflakes will possibly glitter the night sky.
Beachy winter's finally here, not just lurking nearby.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011

My poet friend, Eric "Bubba" Alder invented the above poetry form recently.  It's called a Frost, named and created for his favorite poet, Robert Frost.  Head on over to his blog to learn how to crate your own Frost.  Or, perhaps you'd prefer to write a Frostic?  One thing is for sure.  Everyone wants a little frosting in their lives.  Don't you agree?
This rhyme is being shared in Poetry Pantry #31.  Come on over and join in the fun!

I am also adding this poem to Poet's Rally Week 40.  Come over and see!

Technorati Tags:
, , , , ,

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Real Life Superheroes

Note: The following is a serious, non-smiley message,
not something I imagined while drinking an adult beverage.

    Image by Salvatore Vuono via

For much of my life I have, perhaps naively, believed
that movies can fulfill some of my contemplative need.
The plots always seem puffed with bits of fantasy
which emphasize the lesson that we're supposed to see.
I watch stories I like over, and over, and over again.
I turn them on "as background noise" now and then.
I've figured that others existed who learn things this way.
Didn't know they'd become superheroes until the other day.

To the Real Life Superheroes who may feel I'm mocking...
sorry, but I find your devotion to world safety a bit shocking.
You aren't made of steel and can't run at the speed of light,
yet you roam the streets to save us from danger in the night.
Hopefully you'll never face the likes of Lex Luthor or Dr. Doom,
or any scary big dude who could throw you across the room.
Your "uniforms" may immediately irk certain tough guy types,
though if you help land 'em in jail it'll be the least of their gripes.

I'm guessing you consider the X-Men and Spiderman to be "must see".
I'm more likely to watch the Incredibles, Kick Ass or Despicable Me.
The way I see it, this superhero stuff is a bit much for a mere mortal.
On first read of your existence, from my lips sprang a weird chortle.
Could it be that Kick Ass inspired some to try to make a difference?
The news of Phoenix Jones feels like a movie in real life occurrence.
Next will we hear of Big Daddy, Hit Girl and Red Mist imitators?
I'm pretty sure that was not the intention of the movie's creators.

While this rhyme may bring a smirk, I think this is quite serious.
To hit the streets, masked, to fight crime seems scarily delirious.
Eventually, don't you think you'll become the wanted one?
Does bravery mean knowing that you'll face a loaded gun?
You certainly better be sure to keep your true identity secret.
If someone offers you a cash tip, you should most certainly keep it.
You may have training but I know you can't climb walls or fly.
Someday you too may cross the exact wrong tough guy.

So keep in mind that Kick Ass visited the hospital frequently.
Don't forget Mr. Incredible was sued and punished legally.
Perhaps, instead, emulate characters like my girl Greenzilla.
Her identity is up for grabs to a green cause hero, non-guerrilla.
All I ask is that I have full rights to Greenzilla's adventure stories.
OK, fine... the real superhero and I will share the monetary glories.
But be careful when feeding cows garlic or planting an unplanned tree,
I wouldn't want you to compromise yourself or your freedom for me.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011

Do you want your links to appear on my blog in a rhyme sometime?
Join my time travel Smiley Sociology Study... any writing style's fine.

This poem has been linked in to One Shot Wednesday.
Come on over and read some more great poetry today.

Technorati Tags:
, , , , ,

Friday, February 18, 2011

Clerihews About Me, For You

These Clerihew poems were written (very quickly... on my lunch break...) for Inside My Poem Book's poetry form challenge.  I highly recommend joining the challenge.  I thought it was really fun!

Olive Louise

Grandma said, "Name her Olive Louise."
Mom said "No thank you" despite her "please".
Every day I thank God I'm not called Ollie Lou.
I think it's a terrible nickname; annoying song too.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011

Rhyming Rachel

Radical rhyming Rachel
writes poetry that's playful.
She attempts to report on news that's crazy
in a way that entertains readers who're lazy.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011

The Karaoke Queen

The karaoke queen
sings well and isn't mean.
Sometimes when drinking she'll say,
"I'm not bad.  I'm just drawn that way."

© Rachel Hoyt 2011

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Imbiciles Turn Criminal

        Image by scottchan via

This economy seems to be breeding criminals,
desperate souls longing for an easier road.
I fear their inexperience made them imbeciles,
the main reason their own plans implode.

Desperate souls longing for an easier road,
embrace the fantasy of high stakes trickery.
The main reason their own plans implode:
they act fast though still unsure and jittery.

Embracing the fantasy of high stakes trickery
is quite risky, so be sure to weigh the cost.
If acting fast although still unsure and jittery,
remember one dumb move can get you tossed.

Despite the risk and need to weigh the cost,
calling the police for advice isn't so smart.
Remember one dumb move can get you tossed
and some places it is illegal to publicly fart.

Calling the police for advice isn't so smart.
They might come to check you out.
Though here it's not illegal to publicly fart,
the law still gives some reason to pout.

They'll surely come to check you out
if you leave a personal belonging behind.
The law gives even more reason to pout
when enforced due to your forgetful mind.

If you leave a personal belonging behind,
find yourself a good disguise and secret hideaway.
When law's enforced due to your forgetful mind
you'll wish you'd listened to my words this day.

Find yourself a better disguise and secret hideaway,
if the item sold or money exchanged was fake.
You'll wish you'd listened to my words this day
and decided to take an indefinite crime break.

If the item sold or money exchanged was fake,
you could still get yourself thrown in the slammer.
Decide now to take an indefinite crime break.
Avoid mentally whacking yourself with a hammer.

You could still get yourself thrown in the slammer,
no matter if you're living out spiritual vows.
Avoid mentally wacking yourself with a hammer.
Show you're smarter than a herd of cows.

While you're sneakily living out spiritual vows,
beware creating the reason your plans implode.
Show you're smarter than a herd of cows;
not just a desperate soul speeding down the easy road.

Many create the reason their own plans implode,
ignoring inexperience, making themselves imbeciles.
These desperate souls longing for an easier road,
seem the reason this economy's breeding criminals.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011

This poem was my very first attempt to write a Pantoum poem.  I'm sharing it in two forums: One Stop Poetry and the Promising Poets' Thursday Rally.  I would love to hear what you think in the comments below.  Thanks!

Do you want your blog post links to appear in a rhyme?
Participate in a Smiley Sociology Study sometime.

Technorati Tags:
, , , , ,

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

A Letter to Saint Valentine

                           Image by Filomena Scalise via

Dearly departed Saint Valentine,

I've been thinking of writing to you for quite some time
because your holiday really makes me want to whine.
No matter if I'm single or happily coupled up
this holiday always feels pretty dang screwed up.
Did you really need or want your own special day?
If not, the dude who sprung it on you should have to pay.

Doesn't it bother you that few write a real love note?
I hate those cheesy kid cards with pictures and quote.
I hate that only kids give them to every damsel and bloke.
I hate that a card of said type was the last one that I wrote.

Do you like the store displays that pop up right after Christmas?
I hate that many Americans think it's just plain good business.
I hate that everywhere I look I see red and pink and grimace.
I hate that if it upsets me I need pink medicine for my sickness.

I hate that once I was asked to celebrate by doing our laundry.
I hate that making dinner reservations always turns into a quandary.
I hate that not wearing red, pink and hearts is looked at so wrongly.
I hate that bars that night are packed with preying male osprey.

I hate that everything costs more for that one silly night.
I hate that red roses and chocolate are now considered trite.
I hate that many women want a gift that sparkles under light.
I hate that many men feel they never quite get it quite right.

I hate that saying, "Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus."
Shouldn't the man's home planet be the one that rhymes with penis?
(Pardon my frank language. My mouth sure isn't the cleanest.)
I've digressed. Excuse me again. Please let me leave you with this.
If I'd gotten you one of those cards it would say, "You're the keenest!"
It would be filled with candy hearts labeled cutest and sweetest.

Just in case all this makes you a little queasy in the tummy,
I've enclosed some Pepto chew tabs and a bit of extra money.
Thanks for reading. I sure feel better from venting to you a while.

Your friend,
Rhyme Me a Smile

© Rachel Hoyt 2011

Do you want your links to appear within a rhyme sometime?
Check out the latest Smiley Sociology Study on traveling in time.

This rhyme is being shared in Poetry PotluckOne Shot Wednesday
and the Poetry Pantry.  All are great places for poets to play.

I'm also sharing this link in the One Wee Voice - Love Beats Hate link exchange,
Love Letter Fest and Theme Thursday where there is a themed link exchange every week!

Technorati Tags:
, , , ,

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Mood Rings of the Future

              Buy the above mood ring or other handmade items
                              at Patricia Lynne's Treasures.

Dear Mr. President, Secretary General, top secret agents everywhere,
Sociologists, Anthropologists, and all average citizens who care...

I'm writing you today to present some groundbreaking ideas,
which could be some of the greatest inventions since tortillas.
You see, I recently conducted a pseudo-sociological survey
on mood rings, their popularity and relevance for today.

In the past, they've been worn simply for fashion and fun.
Many were disappointed by them in more ways than one.
Though more than half of us have owned one at some point,
most of us no longer have one. (Lost it or traded for a joint?!)

While the quantitative results I gathered may have been skewed
by smart ass responses I instigated and wanted to include.
The posts that were written and shared proved one main thing:
the mood ring has many further uses we think it could and should bring.

If you aren't already hiding a rock with secret powers at Area 51,
please put your Eureka scientists to work on a fabricated one.
Ideally, the new model should assess the mood of the outside world,
not just the temperature of the finger around which it is curled.

(Side note: It need not be an actual ring.
Mainly we like the color changing thing.
However, try to be at least a little bit incognito.
Hypercolor was too obvious, thus only briefly neato.)

There should be a gadget that can sense the mood of the Internet
or an updated wearable one to help us avoid situations we might regret.
Perhaps you could make a super satellite mood ring for the sky?
Or new emotionally interpretive jewelry that pleasing to the eye?

Do you think we could avoid riots if they were easier to foresee?
Could you monitor the online mood without hindering my privacy?
How cool would it be if our soldiers could be forewarned
by a color changing chip in the dog tags with which they're adorned?

I'm sure any mood ring adaptation you deem worthy to invent
would bring honor to its hippie laden past some still lament.
Rather than being a symbol of those who oppose the military,
it could now help us avoid terrorist situations we find so scary.

I doubt you'll respond to little old me with an outline of your plan,
but if you do decide to run with it... give me this one sign (if you can).
The next time Obama does one of his You Tube interviews,
change the time to fit the questions and call it the 420 News.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011

The next Smiley Sociology Study is already under way.
Check out the theme and start writing your post today!

This rhyme is being shared in Poetry Pantry Week #32.
Pantry folks, please leave a link so I can read yours too!

Technorati Tags:
, , , , ,

Friday, February 4, 2011

Smiley Sociology Study #3 - Time Travel

  Image by Suat Eman via

Two of my blogging friends - Nuclear Headache and I Like Cheese -
have begun a themed writing journey on a subject that's sure to please.
I've decided to encourage more of their fun by opening my next study early.
Don't you think further discussion on the subject of time travel is worthy?

Haven't you thought about some piece of the past you'd like to see?
Is there someone who is now gone with whom you wish you could be?
Do you wonder what would happen to the present if someone changed the past?
Is your mind now ponderously churning? Are you ready to have a blast?

Those who are interested have the rest of the month to write a post.
I'll link back in my "results" rhyme in March to those I like the most.
Or if you're just an average Joe and want to tell me something you know,
leave me a comment below and perhaps your influence will also show.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011

Non rhyming directions for the poetry challenged:

(1) Create a new post on time travel or link to one about time travel that was already on your blog. All blog types are welcome - writers, photographers, artists, crafts people... but please keep it PG-13 and link directly to the post, not to your home page.

(2) mention and link back to the Smiley Sociology Study within your post

(3) copy the link for that post

(4) paste link into Mister Linky below

(5) leave a comment here to let me know you've posted a link

(6) read links left by others and tell them (nicely) what you think

(7) enjoy your increase in traffic

I will keep Mr. Linky open until midnight on Monday, February 28th. Until then... keep sending me your links! Don't forget to visit the other blogs.  Reading, commenting and promoting others' work is good blogging karma.  If you made it this far... thanks for reading!!

If you want to support my effort but don't have the time to write a post, here's a little four question survey...

Technorati Tags: , , ,

This post is being shared in Poetry Pantry Week 28.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

The Likido Diet

          Image by Suat Eman via

Dr. Likido was a very interesting man -
nutritionist but not a five food group fan.
He graduated with honors, then disappeared
to meditate about the career he now feared.
He wanted to help but thought no diet was right
so he vowed instead to pray all day and all night.
Last week a vision came to him to break the spell.
The missing ingredient is here; a new diet as well.

What is this new discovery? (Nice of you to ask.)
Meat flavored water has been invented at long last!
Now you can drink all five food groups from a cup...
assuming that yummy idea doesn't make you throw up.
Sure, I suppose, you could have done that before,
but frequent blender cleaning can become quite a chore.
Plus, the drinks were weird colors and consistencies...
and now they're manufactured to aesthetically please.

The good Doc is still working out the details
but, so far, here's what the Likido Diet entails:
Start the day with a fruit and yogurt smoothie.
Blend it yourself or buy a pre-made one like me.
Snacks, lunch and dinner - drink meat water and V8.
Take time to explore the 50+ flavors invented to date.
For dessert, have a sweet smoothie or a beer...
'cuz life's less fun when carbohydrates are a fear.

If you've read this far and still think I'm serious,
you're either incredibly gullible or totally delirious.
I mean, unfortunately, the meat water part is true.
You can try cheeseburger water if you want to.
I'm scared most by one of the midnight snack flavors.
Is mountain oysters really a taste someone savors?!
Though Likido's plan might mimic elements of a diet,
I think you'd have to be a bit crazy to try it.

I'm not sure why some prefer man made, enhanced stuff.
I think grains, veggies, fruit, dairy and meat are enough.
Its normal to be tempted by fad diets' promised results
but not easy to admit to wishful thinking like young adults.
I am sure some real life doctor will "invent" this diet soon.
He or she could draft a full plan (like me) in one afternoon.
Just remember, you heard of it here, from Dr. Likido first,
and keep in mind that eating your vegetables really ain't the worst.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011

Do you want your links to appear within a rhyme?
Participate in a Smiley Sociology Study sometime.

This poem is being shared in the Poetry Pantry and through One Shot Wednesday #31.  I recommend visiting these forums to read more poetry - just for fun.

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , ,