Thursday, June 30, 2011

Ironic Animal Love

Image by Phiseksit via

Examples of irony in real life are amusing,
though generally simultaneously confusing...
the city named for a sainted animal fan.
They'll still allow them to be sold as food.
(Not exactly that for which Assisi stood).

The shelters workers are sad from flushing abandoned fish.
and making young hamsters sleep more soundly than they wish.
They seem to think their work is the ultimate proof
that people's love for animals vanished with a poof.
Their lives are not valued so sales should be banned?
To lend the furry, creepy and crawly a helping hand?

Perhaps they were people who couldn't find a landlord
unscathed to see a car plaque that says, "Paws on board!"
Maybe they also recently lost their house,
but previously would've cared for every last mouse?
A pet ban, to me, seems a little bit rash;
a way for the city to save lots of cash.

The silver lining, I suppose, is they haven't banned pets.
Yet if I lived there now I would have some regrets.
Finding a place to buy stuff for my cat and my turtle
would become more rare than little girls named Myrtle.
Plus, I love to visit baby rabbits and pups at the store.
Petting them is a past time I absolutely adore.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Happy Blogoversary to Me!!

Image by digitalart via

It's hard to believe that it's been a year
since I started posting silly rhymes here.
I enjoy, oh so much, making all of you smile
and plan to continue writing here for a while.
In fact, what you see now is the beginning
of hopes that I'll soon shout "I'm winning!"
I've begun to submit my rhymes to contests
and making greeting cards I hope will impress.
I'm still working on opening my online card shop,
but when I do, I hope you'll help it not flop!
In the mean time, I hope you'll read one of my favorite rhymes
and keep coming back for more smile inducing good times.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

Here's ten of my favorite rhymes,
in random order.  Good times!

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Custom Rewards Can Fulfill Dreams of Gourds

Image by Pixomar via

I would love to get some of my kicks in life
by causing my credit card company strife.
I've recently learned some now offer custom rewards.
I can make them buy me copper or gourds?!
I could request a free cattle drive experience
or try anti-gravity to build my resilience.
I could sail around the world on a yacht
all because I charged many things that I bought.

I could finally get that Wii I've wanted
or the concert tickets that have taunted.
I could get an entire herd of goats
or pay to construct multiple moats.
I could myself a mountain of fine cheese
or nearly anything else that I please...
If I just charge thousands on my card,
achieving my dreams will be a little less hard.

I could finally take that long planned trip
where I will indulge in a Dead Sea dip.
I could see the famous Galapagos Islands
or the stars at the Hollywood Highlands.
I guess I could pay for all of this myself
if I'd stash some coins in that jar on my shelf,
but getting it from them is so much more fun!
That's what makes my card like a loaded gun.

© Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

To Tweet or Not to Tweet

Free Twitter buttons from

    It seems every other day some one's "rep" meets defeat
    due to some thoughtless thing they decided to tweet.
    Yet people continue to sign up by the hundred dozens.
    (I finally caved in many years after my young cousins.)
    I choose not to tweet about my mundane daily life.
    Keeping things strictly business should help me avoid strife.

    It seems a slippery slope from cheerful chatter to thoughtless tweeting.
    The temptation will always get to some - history bears repeating.
    I, for one, would not mind a few more laughs at their expense,
    but it seems only right to warn the public to use some common sense.
    could haunt a person enough to make them go insane.

    Even if you aren't as powerful a man as President Barack Obama,
    I recommend you don't tweet anything you wouldn't show to your mama...
    or whatever other person best known to keep you in line.
    Pretend they're watching you're every move, make them proud and you'll be fine.
    Twitter can be a good tool if you don't behave like a fool,
    but fall in the cesspool and you'll be ridiculed like in grade school.
    © Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

    This rhyme is being shared at One Stop Poetry.
    If you're visiting from there, please leave your links for me.

    Saturday, June 18, 2011

    Drop Dead Beach Weather

    Photo © Rachel Hoyt.  All rights reserved.

    One hundred and fifty two years ago yesterday,
    the beach town where I live had a VERY hot day.
    It was so flaming warm that birds fell from the sky
    and cows toppled over dead before they knew why.

    Who knew Santa Barbara held the record for so long
    without becoming known for weather that's weird and wrong?
    I've long wondered why the June gloom fog surprises everyone.
    Perhaps that day long ago is why we're known for summer sun.

    © Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

    This rhyme is being shared at the Thursday Think Tank, Poetry Tow Truck 25 and the Poetry Pantry.
    If you're visiting from one of those places, please leave your post links for me.


    Wedding Rambling

    Image by Nuttakit via

    Weddings can be both happy and sad.
    Some feel sappy while others are rad.
    Parents can be both helpful and rude.
    Some names are a mouthful while others sound crude.
    Brides can be both stressed out and calm.
    Some show it with a tear, others a sweaty palm.
    Grooms can be both nervous and proud.
    Some want a small service, others want a crowd.

    But whether its happy, sappy, sad or rad,
    the guests are wild, with child, in heat or dressed neat,
    the food is yummy like honey or bland like sand,
    the music is awesome as a 'possom or plain and lame,
    the weather is too hot to trot or pleasantly chilly and non-cloud-spilly,
    the day really should be all about the love,
    whether the couple fits together like a glove,
    and giving them a little happily ever after shove.

    © Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.


    This is my belated response to Smiley Sociology Study #6 on Weddings
    Thank you to everyone who shared their link in the study.

    This rhyme is being shared in the Poetry Pantry.
    If you're visiting from there, please leave your links for me.

    Tuesday, June 14, 2011

    Steve Martin Limerick

    A man who was proud of his clout,

    for joking and goofing about,

    picked up the banjo,

    used verbal ammo,

    and let his fun singing voice out.

    © Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

    This is my entry for Mad Kane's Limerick Off for this week.
    I tied in Steve Martin 'cuz my love for his comedy's not meek.

    This rhyme is also being shared in the Poetry Pantry.
    If you're visiting from there, please leave your links for me.

    Funny Happy Statistics

    Image by Ohmega1982 via

    A recent survey by some social site called Badoo
    The old U-S-of-A was ruled #1
    and I must agree, here we like to have fun!
    The thing is, we came in first of fifteen.
    Leaving some countries out seems sorta mean.

    North Korea also decided to gather some information
    They ranked China first and themselves in second
    which was not exactly the results that I reckoned...
    but then again, not super duper surprising
    to discover a TV poll was just surmising.

    It seems re: happiness, they make up the numbers
    that will most appropriately justify their plunders.
    I hope you won't frown now that you know.
    I'd rather your happy meter lean "to" and not "fro".
    If I must join in their game to conquer your frown,
    for making up a few stats of my own I am down.

    In my not-so-careful qualitative research I have found
    the following statements mostly true all around.
    41% of the world is fairly happy.
    23% of all people know how to act sappy.
    Add the 12% that are actually funny to lead the crew
    and they could bring smiles to someone who's feeling blue.

    Hmmmmm... I still don't feel quite right fudging these numbers
    even though happy smiles are the goal of my plunders.
    Perhaps you'll comment below with what you think is true?
    Who is funniest and happiest and what do they do?
    If you'd be so kind as to leave your responses with me,
    the world will have more accurate funny happy statistics to see.

    © Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

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    This post is being shared at One Stop Poetry.
    if you're visiting from there, please leave your links for me.

    Tuesday, June 7, 2011

    Cancerous Frivolities

    iphone image by Salvatore Vuono via

    Are you as annoyed as me to hear the "breaking news" on cell phones?
    Does it feel as if they're taunting from upon their knowledge thrones?
    I too was bothered by the seeming lack of new information
    and the reality that technology was enduring degradation...
    until one day I found the list of knowledge I desired.
    The following is a summary of what, henceforth, transpired.

    I was eager to learn what other items were equally polluting,
    but as I read the list, few of the words were computing.
    I decided to google one from each letter group
    and avoid those cancer causers like strange looking goop.

    Acetaldehyde proved there's be something to dread.
    I read that it occurs naturally in coffee, fruit and bread.
    That sounds much harder to avoid than use of cell phones.
    Plus, I bet its remnants lie within many more bones.

    Bracken ferns was the next "word" that attracted my eye.
    I doubted it was something that I'd given a try,
    but lo and behold it's a fairly ordinary plant!
    If I had one in my house I'd be writing a rant.

    C is for cell phones which now sound much less scary.
    (Thank goodness, 'cuz I'm addicted the one that I carry.)

    Learning what Dacarbazine was made me laugh a bit,
    but it also makes me want to call someone a twit.
    A Chemo drug that could cause the very thing it cures?!?!
    Would you prescribe it to any ill friend of yours?

    As I reached the E's I knew that my search was futile.
    Seeing "engine exhaust - gasoline" on the list just felt brutal.
    A world without cell phones, cars, bread, fruit or coffee???
    Sorry, but that is not a world I'm dying to see.

    I'll try to avoid silly obvious causes like smoking
    and wear a mask when around fumes that cause choking.
    Basically, it'll have to be more risky than this
    to interfere with my desire for maximum bliss.
    You can choose a life much more cautious if you want,
    but my desire for cell phones, bread, fruit and coffee I will flaunt!

    © Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.
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    Friday, June 3, 2011

    Smiley Sociology Study #7 - Weather

    Image by Salvatore Vuono via

    It is time once again for a Smiley Sociology Study...
    perhaps a weather theme will interest you, blog buddy?

    Have you written anything about the tornadoes?
    Have you seen a rain storm drench a field of potatoes?

    Is June your favorite weather month of the year?
    Or is there a different season that you hold dear?

    Have you dreamt of being a weather man for a living?
    Or do you feel the forecasts are always misgiving?

     Whatever it is you think or feel about the weather,
    let's write some posts about it and link up here together.

    © Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.

    Non rhyming directions for the poetry challenged:

    (1) Create a new post about weather or link to one that was already on your blog. Please note: your post does not need to be poetic. All styles of blogs are welcome as long as their post is about weather.

    (2) Please include a link back to the Smiley Sociology Study within your post to help spread the word about the link exchange. The more "data" / posts I have to peruse, the better pseudo sociological results I can produce!

    (3) copy the link for that post and paste link into Mister Linky below.
    Please link directly to the post you want to share, not to your home page.
    I will delete your link from the study if I cannot find a weather themed post to link to directly.

    (4) leave a comment here to let me know you've posted a link

    (5) read links left by others and tell them (nicely) what you think

    Thursday, June 2, 2011

    The Circus Clean-Up Crew

    Amidst the wreckage in Joplin
    an elephant is trompin'...
    'cuz the Piccadilly Circus crew
    chose to stay and help too.

    Tonight my hat's off to them,
    the kind women and men,
    who spread smiles for a living
    whether circus-ing or giving.

    © Rachel Hoyt 2011.  All rights reserved.